I'll fucking miss Esprit.

ahh braces appointment tmr. nggak suka ):

(Took me half an hour thinking how to start my entry zzzz) So hmmm, life's good. Been quite an emotional, busy and definitely happening week. Its amazing how I endured having my weekends burnt for 6 months, waking up really early and going home really late, standing up for like 10 hours straight, entertaining selfish and stupid customers who deserves to have their mouth stitched, anddddd hitting targets. I hate hitting targets. But working here has made me a much happier person. I mean not that I wasnt happy or something but making friends such coool people who made my day, it gives me a reason to loook forward for work. Sad thing I got to leave esprit soon. Been a long time since I hangout with the girls, as in really really hangout. Too much stories to share already and cousin Mai, where are youuuuuuuuu ?I want to know how your date went like. I cannot wait for the 11th, lets shop like crazy. I wish I had a sister so I could talk to her and tell her how confused I am right now. Like how I actually hangout with R until 1 in the morning, and telling him secrets that I have never told A before and allowing him to fetch me from work almost every single day. I am so bloody confused because I don't want R to get the wrong idea and think that I am giving him hopes. Okay whatever, this part here is a bit redundant. Yayy can't wait to watch New Moon with anon.

"Oh gosh, just don't do anything nice."

Working.

Not schooling.

Sleep,

Sleep,

& Sleep.

Dates.

& more dates.

First bike ride.

KL.

Holidays.

Nice weather.

Oh well, what can I say.

I am contented with life.

Hello it's 3am in the morning and I cant sleep so I'll do abit of talking to myself here. Ny name is Siti Hajjar Nasli Bte Achnas. I hate my name. Well fine, hate is a very strong word. But really. My grandpa was the one who chose it. He told my ma when she was 7 months pregnant " Mata dia hijau ke, biru ke, brown ke, tetap aku nak nama dier siti hajjar, yang lain kau boleh add add sendiri." zzzz so I asked my ma what name does she have in mind. Probably if my grandpa didnt choose that, I would have been a Nurul Nikosha Nasli Achnas. And Nasli. My pa and ma's name. I think I'm going to add a Nasli to my children's name asked my them to name my grandchildren with a Nasli too and bring it down to the next ten generations. My brothers have a Nasli in them too. Big brother is Ashraff Nasli and small brother is Ilihalhakim Nasli. Many people have come up to me and asked if I have a twin brother. Zzzz Ashraff Nasli is 20 for Godsake & I dont look like him at all. Oh come on please. I am 18 and I weigh like an elephant. I have been doing ten sit ups a day but I seee no improvement at all which suck of course because I want to be thin. Yes thin. I dont care if my legs look like poles , I just wanna be thin! I have this hideous braces on my teeth that nobody would ever want to see. Its just ugly and everytime I look at the mirror, I dont like what I see. This 3rd Dec would be my 1st anni with Bracey. I think I should celebrate. It's nice having Bracey doing everything with me. I like to day dream alot. At 2am yesterday, I was thinking of all the songs to play on my wedding day. Heh heh when I'm bored I would watch all of Westlife and BSB's old clips and note down the songs I would love to have on my wedding day. I have three amazing girlfriends who would laugh, cry, scream, shout and fart together with me. My life would probably be very empty if I didnt had them. I can tell you this a millionth time that my life revolves around girls. I suck at almost everything. Dancing, singing, cooking, making friends, holding a cigarette, having a manageable hair, looking good and being in a relationship for long. I.Suck.At.Everything. I dont have alot of ex's to boast about. I am not rich so I dont always dine in expensive restaurants. I am not pretty like most girls. I have razor sharp braces that freaks a guy out when he sees me smile. And I'm just not girlfriend material I guess. Most of my relationships end up with me still being friends with the guy so I believe it when guys come falling in and out of love with me and telling me "Lets be friends" cos we really do become friends. But it hurts of course. Like when you wake up one morning and you realize that your still harboring feelings for your first love and he's treating you as a friend. Oh well, we cant make everyone happy can we. Someone's bound to get hurt. But I think I am a really happy person now. There are many things I wanna do before I die. To climb the Great Pyramid of Egypt. To take an African Safari. Dance tango in Argentina. And to ride something bigger than a horse. Okay I am still bored and I could even continue typing if my eyes wouldnt be this heavy. But I have to stop here. I am amazed if you really had read from top till bottom . Thanks for reading this junk once again. Goodnight. Wow I cant believe I was a hardcore WWF fan.

Thanks Aishah for the date. I love you more than words can ever describe. Even though our first movie didnt went well, but I appreciate every moment spent. Okay I sound like a les already.

Girls! I went on a date today. (Time to move on!heh heh heh) We had afternoon tea at Fika, a place my ma recommended. I love the idea of the whole cafe painted white. A nice place to date. I ordered apple crumble with ice cream, two cheesecake and Swedish Strawberry Tea while he only ordered Chocolate Latte. I did all the eating , while he sit there and watch. zzzzz. I told my date he looks ugly when he's skinny and he should eat more. But he's stubborn. Everytime he looks himself in the mirror, he starts mumbling to himself " I look so fat." I hear him say that all the time. It annoys me of course because he weigh so much lighter than me. I wonder if anorexic applies to men as well.

Some paparazzi attempting to take a picture of me and my date.tsk tsk.

Fika. Very the suci rightttttttttt. Feels like you're in heaven. Oh wait till you try the tea and cakes there!

This is the Swedish Strawberry tea I was telling you about. I feel like a five year old kid playing "masak masak" . Anyway the tea was super duper refreshing okay.

And and and the apple crumble with ice cream! This one lagi power. I dont think Aida would like this because its vanilla ice cream on top. I can never understand why she hates Vanilla. You're missing out in life, girl.

Then we walk around Bali Lane. I told my date how he sucked at photography cos he always take pictures of me from the back. He suck at almost everything , just like me. So yeah thats me from the back...

& from the back....

anyway, Aida! choose between this two and we'll chop off our hair asap!

Wow I cant wait to officially start school tomorrow!

I had my braces changed just now and uhmm according to my ma, I have been looking at myself in the mirror for more than 10 times since the last 8 hours. Cant help it that my teeth looks SOOOO HAPPY! I chose pink and yellow and even though my ma feels that the yellow looked very much like margarine, I still think it's a cool combination. I've started to use bands on my teeth to close up the gap and this is of course something new to me. Not to mention the hassle of changing the bands three times a day and not being able to yawn like usual. Feels like my whole mouth is being controlled and it's a bit annoying cos I cant open my mouth widely and of course my ma is very happy about it cos this means she dont have to hear me scream if somebody messes up my room! I am very hungry right now and I skipped lunch and dinner cos simply there's nothing soft to eat. I mean usually on the day I changed braces, I could still manage to chew ice and crackers but right now, I feel like there's this huge brick on top of my teeth. That's how tight my braces are. And I dont understand why out of the many many days , ma had to cook Rendang today. So unfair! Okay jar, stop whining. I better sleep now cos it's full shift tomorrow!

Hahahaha some really funny Thai Ads. Thai people are soooo funny!

Today I woke up and I realised that my parents have already left. They went for a short getaway for their 21st anniversary leaving Hakim and I alone at home. Well I was busy working during the weekend so my poor brother had to cook his own meals. School's starting tomorrow. I dont know if I should even look forward to it.But well, attachment wont be that bad I suppose. Anyway last Friday we had a super heavy dinner at ______. Wah very the kenyang loh, and $129 gone just like that. But worth it though. I was so full I skipped meals the next day. My ma would be very happy if she knows Im on diet.

not so nice mudpie.

thanks for the day guys!

I WILL HATE NYP FOR LIFE!

I'm a happy happy girl cos I had my hair cut and trimmed and it feels sooooooooooooooo much lighter! I cannot wait for tomorrow , and friday, and Saturday. Saturday = Deepavali = Double Pay!

HOW CAN MY MA EVEN THINK OF MATCHMAKING ME WITH A 28-YEAR-OLD MAN ??????